hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
