mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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