My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
