CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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