Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She bit a glass in half.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize