Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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