I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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