I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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