i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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