Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
