She is in my trunk
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
