I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
