Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
