Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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