I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
