Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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