i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
