it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
