All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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