Umm I'm too high to move.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
