I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
