Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
