I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
