Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ugly people sure do ruin things
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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