goodnight i made you a song goodbye
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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