i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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