I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
