Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
