oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
