exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
