hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize