Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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