It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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