New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
