I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
