im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
