I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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