last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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