Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
