Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
