the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And then my night got REAL pukey
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
