Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
