There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
