please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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