when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
