Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
