If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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