I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
