So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
