I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If I die, sorry about rent.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
