Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
3 2 1 whiskey
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
