Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
