Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
