I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
