Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
