Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
