I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
