I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
