She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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