Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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