Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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