Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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