i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
