i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I had to cum in my sink.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
