Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
