Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize