I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
