If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she looked like the before picture.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
