no you cant smoke seaweed
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
